Redneck Church

This came to me via Grace member Bill Kindschy. Thanks, Bill. Very funny.



You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if
... The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of
a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
... People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the
two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
... When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the
offering," five guys and two women stand up.
... Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church
holiday.
... A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive
truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."
(Love it!)
... The choir is known as the "OK Chorale".
... In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names
in the church directory.
... Baptism is referred to as branding".
... High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.
... People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too
heavy.
... The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub.
... The collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy.
... Instead of a bell, you are called to service by a duck call.
... The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
... The communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".
... "Thou shalt not covet" applies to hunting dogs,
... The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now!! Ya
Hear"