"Hallelujah" New Lyrics

A while ago I mentioned this song, "Hallelujah" as a favorite of mine.  My kids like it because it was in the movie "Shrek".  I like it because it's pretty and soulful, but the lyrics made no sense to me.  So I re-wrote my own version, the words below.  Here's an instrumental version of it the original song.
 

The serpent and forbidden tree
The fruit was good to eat, you see
You want to know both good and evil, do you?
She took a look; She took a bite
He ate along then dark as night
The shadow came upon them Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

As they fumbled for a leaf to hide

They heard the footsteps, heard him chide

You ate the fruit, you know you're naked do you?
To serpent then the Father said,
You'll bruise his heel, he'll crush your head
A promise ne'er forgotten Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Pharaoh let my people go
But you chased them to the sea to show
That pharaohs don't give up so easy, do you?
He raised his staff, he stretched his hand
My people walked upon dry land
Then I washed away the chariots Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

On a quiet night in Bethlehem
A baby born, the son of man,
But you don't even have a crib, now do you?
As she wrapped you in your swaddling clothes
The angels sang, the shepherds rose
To come and see and sing their Hallelujahs

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Hosanna, save us, so they sing,
Palm branches for the coming king,
In your city, Son of David, yeah, they knew you.
You came to bring a perfect lamb,
A sacrifice of your own hand,

Oh Lord Jesus Christ, Hosanna, Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

The crowd they chanted crucify,
The women wailed, the darkened sky,
The nails and spear the soldiers pierced right through you.
The bitter drink, the crown of thorns,
So Peter weeps and Mary mourns,
And you shouted “it is finished!” Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

They find a tomb to lay your clay
And seal it for the Sabbath day
But you don't plan to stay there too long, do you?
When Sunday comes, you've had your rest
The angel voice would say it best,
He isn't here, He's risen Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah