Sermon - Pentecost 12 - Ephesians 4:17-5:2

 

Ephesians 4 has often been a favorite chapter of mine, a pastor, someone who speaks for a living.  There, Paul summarizes for us, in an almost offhand comment, a wonderful way to measure our Christian speech, “Speaking the Truth in Love”.  We heard that phrase in last week’s reading, and he expounds upon it in today’s.  What does it look like to speak the truth in love?  Why and how can we speak the truth in love?

Truth and love, of course, are two ideas close to the heart of any Christian.  Truth and love are perhaps two of the most distinctive traits or attributes of God:  Jesus says, “I am the Way, and the Truth, and the Life” and John’s letters teach us, “God is love.”  Here Paul also reminds us, “the truth is in Jesus Christ”.  That’s the way you learned it, Christians. 

Corrupt desires and corrupt talk are part of the old way, the old self, the Gentiles’ former life.  And Paul says to put that all away! Put off the old self!  Put away all falsehood!  You must no longer walk as the Gentiles do.  Easier said than done, St. Paul!

For speaking the truth can be hard.  Our corrupt nature loves the truth only when it benefits us, only when it serves us and our selfish ways.  Otherwise, the lie is always an option.  We tell white lies and great lies.  We lie so much we even had different names for our lies.  We excuse them with words like, “fudging” and “stretching the truth”, “spin” and “well, that’s your truth, and this is my truth.”  But a lie is a lie all the same, and the Father of lies delights when we act like his children, and follow in his footsteps.

One of the biggest lies we can tell is when we tell ourselves – that we’re ok without God.  That we don’t need Jesus.  Or that we can live to serve our own comforts and desires, and that it doesn’t really hurt anyone else anyway.  Or if it does, they probably deserve it.  We lie to ourselves, thinking and saying we have no sin, and the truth is not in us.  We lie to others, either to cover our sinfulness or make ourselves look better than we are.  But we’re not.  A lie doesn’t really change the reality, it just lies about it.  But it cannot stand the test.  The lie crumbles when the truth shines on it.

But we don’t always do so well with the truth, either, now do we?  Sometimes telling the truth can be just as sinful as lying.  How so?  When we divorce the truth from love.  Paul indicates that truth and love go together.  But we are expert at peeling them apart.  This is the root of so much gossip.  Some of it’s false, of course, but some is true!  We’ll even say so, “well, it’s true, isn’t it?”  “Oh, the truth hurts, doesn’t it!”  And we mask our harmful truths in a disguise of concerns.  We aren’t really loving that other person, we’re not protecting their reputation and good name.  We’re dragging their dirty laundry out to help ourselves, not them.

The rule then is this:  Speak the truth, in love.  If it’s true but it’s not loving, then keep silent.  Or say something nice instead.  If it’s true but it’s not helpful, if it doesn’t serve the neighbor, or serve the good, then keep it to yourself.

That doesn’t mean always being “nice”.  I know Momma always said, “if you can’t say something nice then don’t say anything at all.”  But sometimes even we sin by not saying what we should!  Sometimes our silence is borne of cowardice.  And sometimes it’s just to avoid hurting someone’s feelings, when it really is a loving thing to say.  “Don’t put your hand on the stove, you’ll burn yourself!”  It’s true, and it’s loving, but we may not make friends with our words.

Now all this takes wisdom to navigate.  It’s not always easy.  When do I speak, and when do I not?  There are some helpful checkpoints:  1. Is it true?  2. Is it kind?  3. Is it helpful?  Does it build up, as Paul puts it?  Does it fit the occasion?

And furthermore, another test of our speech, “is it my place to say this?”  We must also consider our vocation, our place in life.  It may not be your place to correct someone else’s child, even if what you say is true, loving and kind.  It may not be your place to point to someone’s sin, even though it’s true, and you have good intentions.  There’s even a time to speak the Gospel, and a time to refrain from throwing pearls before swine.  For everything a time and a season under heaven.

Speak the truth in love, dear Christians.  And pray for wisdom to do so, as sin blurs so many things and can confuse even such a simple thing.

So how does Paul finally encourage us to speak the truth in love?  With these words:

“5 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”

Christ is our example.  He always spoke the truth in love, perfectly.  It didn’t always make him friends.  Sometimes it even offended people.  And yes, sometimes, even Christ knew it was time to be silent.  But he was always loving, always looking toward the good of his neighbor and the glory of God his Father.  Christ is the perfect example.  Be like Jesus when it comes to speaking the truth in love.

But Christ is so much more than an example.  That’s all law.  Do this, do that, do the other thing.  Speak this way and not that way.  If only we could!  We fail so often.  We must confess: the law is good, but it cannot save us.  The law is good, but it cannot motivate our good works.  We cannot end the story there.

Christ loved us.  Christ spoke the truth to us.  And Christ gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God!

It is the work of Christ for us that answers the crushing accusations of the law.  It is the truth of Christ – that he came to save sinners like you – it is the love of Christ – that he laid down his life for the sins of the world.  It is his death on the cross - the fragrant offering he made, a sweet and pleasing aroma before the throne of God in heaven.  And God was well pleased with Christ’s sacrifice.  He received his Son’s spirit.  And he vindicated him with a resurrection on the third day.

Christ’s atoning death and glorious resurrection are the foundation for our new life as Christians.  They are the greatest of truth and the greatest of love.  Christ has done it all for us, not just as example, but as substitute, as Savior.  He is the way, the only way to God.  He is the truth, the one whose word never fails, and he is the life – the foundation for our life - here in time, and there in eternity.

And it is this good news that empowers us to follow his example, to love one another, and to speak the truth in love.  Paul encourages the Ephesians, and us, to live the new life of a Christian and to put away those old pagan Gentile ways.  Because Christians are different.  Christians are changed.  Christians are in Christ!

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

Christ has saved us from the wrath and anger of God.  He has been tenderhearted and forgiving toward us, and always is.  Therefore, let us reflect this to each other.  Kindness.  Tender hearts.  Forgiving one another.  Speaking the truth in love, always, for the benefit of our neighbor, and to the glory of God.  Thanks be to God in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Amen.